Parenting
Articles
2004
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Anxiety
in kids is becoming more common
Everyone, from
the youngest child to the oldest adult, experiences anxieties and fears
at one time or another. Anxiety never feels very good. However, such
feelings are necessary. Experiencing and dealing with anxieties
prepares young people to handle the challenges of life.
Anxiety is designed to motivate us to protect
ourselves by escaping the threat or changing the threat to a minimal
danger. The heart beats faster, sweat comes, stomachs feel queasy,
focus becomes centered.
Examples in early childhood of normal childhood
fears are stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, fear of ghosts and
spooks. As children grow, new fears of dogs, heights, heat, punishment,
bleeding, and dark may develop.
This anxiety in a child shows up in their extra
vigilance, inability to focus, anger outbursts, nervousness fidgeting,
eating and sleeping problems.
When anxiety is obvious, simply sitting down with
your child and talking about their fears can help them put those fears
behind them. If ignored, fears can grow larger and develop into
phobias. In an attempt to regain control of their world, that world
becomes full of what others would consider illogical limits.
Fear affects a child’s personal, social, and
academic functioning. Parents can make the big difference by
recognizing and responding to the fears of their children by the
following:
Recognize that the fear is real. The more you talk
about it, the less power that fear has. Give it a name. Talk about ways
to take away the power of the fear or fight it.
Avoid belittling. Telling a child, "Don't be
ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!" may get him to go to
bed, but it won't make the fear go away.
On the other hand, catering to their fears will only reinforce them.
Rate their fears. Your child can visualize the
intensity of the fear on a scale of 1 to 10. After talking, he may be
able to "see" the fear as less intense than at first. Younger children
can think about how "full of fear" they are, with being full "up to my
knees" as not so scared, "up to my stomach" as more frightened, and "up
to my head" as truly petrified.
Teach coping strategies. Using you as "home base,"
expose the child to the feared object, and then return to you for
safety. Using positive statements, such as "I can do this" and "I will
be OK," which he can say to himself when he feels anxious may help.
Simply stopping and relaxing by breathing slowly and deeply while
thinking of something peaceful to the child may help.
The key to resolving fears and anxieties is to
overcome them. Using these suggestions, you can help your child better
cope with all of life's difficult situations.
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Brain hardware is plastic
Our brains are
fantastic. They determine how we move, what we see and hear, how we
feel, how we process food, how fast our hearts beat, and how we
perceive pain, to name a few capacities.
So, if everyone’s
brain is basically the same, why do we act so differently? Scientists
tell us our genes have a lot to do with it, but I find it curious that
much of human behavior seems to be related to some very important
factors.
Lately, attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder
(ADHD) has been in the news and talk of the country. Impulsive choices,
distractability which leads to inattentiveness, and hyperactive
behaviors are affecting everyone. Parents and teachers are
striving to solve the problems that accompany this complex of brain
functions.
Curiously, I have noticed that most children
demonstrating these symptoms have one certain consistent factor. Could
it be that this factor could be the culprit? If so, what can
communities do to improve the futures of our children?
Most of these anxious-looking kids that can’t
perform well at school or on tests, can’t remember to turn in homework
if they even remember to do it, getting into trouble by bullying,
fighting, or choosing drugs, have lost a significant parental
relationship either through death, divorce, adoption, or giving up
parental rights. The giving up rights is usually related to drugs or
abuse.
There is yet another way for a child to feel
deserted by a parent that remains in a family. Yelling, arguing,
screaming, threatening, and even staying on the phone or in front of
the television all the time renders a child homeless at home.
The end result is a weak or very poor connection to
one or both parents. That weak connection causes physical changes
within a child that changes the hardwiring of the brain.
Where there was calm and peace, there are now
anxiety and frenetic activity. Where there was joy and curiosity, there
is fear. Where there is playfulness, there is now boredom. Where there
was respect, there is anger and disrespect. Where there was mischief,
there is impulsive hurting. Feelings of value are replaced with
guilt and shame. Friends are short-lived. Disappointments abound.
Same brain, just changed by circumstances in life.
As a community, what can we do to improve the chances of the
designer-gened brain to remain in its original state?
Can we devise efforts to improve our ability to
communicate through church groups? Can we suggest laws to discourage
poorly thought-out marriages? With few exceptions, every child
needs to be raised by his biological parents. There are simply no
exceptions. Parents have an awesome responsibility when it comes to the
brains of their children.
Parents
shape the reality of their children by paying attention to cues and
interpreting them with words, facial expressions and actions. Kids
learn who they are and what they are feeling based on how their main
care-givers respond to them.
Validating a child is accepting their developing
values, beliefs and their immature interpretation of what seems real to
them. Their responses may be illogical to an adult. However, if we can
attempt to see through their eyes and describe their “reality” with
kind, calm words, they will feel loved and nurtured.
Validation may sound like the following: Child:
(whining) “I can’t find my blanky!” Adult: “You feel happier when
you go to bed with your blanket, don’t you?” Or when a young child is
crying because they aren’t getting what they want, we might say: “You
really wanted that and I know you’re disappointed.”
The key is to "agree" with what they want and gently
"steer" them to do something else. We agree with their desires, but
guide their thoughts, emotions, and actions in slightly different
directions.
This approach succeeds well because, as humans, we
all turn up our efforts or resist when we are pushed or feel that
we aren’t heard. Putting the child’s obvious reality into words brings
soothing and understanding. By avoiding confrontation, everyone stays
happy and cooperation is more likely.
If the child wants to go outside just before a meal,
simply asking them if they are getting hungry and want to help you
finish lunch is a great way to distract and redirect their interest.
Then add, “You can go outside after lunch and play.” The child is
happy, and your schedule is still on target.
Following are the guiding principles which make
validating children the best choice for responding to their creative
attempts to manipulate the world.
1. All children are unique.
2. All children are valuable.
3. There is a reason for all childhood behavior.
4. Behavior will change only if the child wants to
change it.
5. Children need to be accepted without judgment or
criticism.
6. Painful feelings that are validated will begin to
diminish.
7. Painful feelings that are ignored will heighten
and strengthen.
8. Empathy and validation build trust, reduce anxiety
and preserve dignity.
Having children that are fun to be around is
determined in part how much they feel they are noticed, listened to,
accepted, and loved. If we don’t enjoy the time we have with the
children in our life, there IS something we can do about it.
Children
sometimes
fool adults into believing that they are bad. But, I have come to the
conclusion, there are no bad kids, only kids who behave badly at times.
Why would children behave badly, you ask? Only
because they have
learned destructive patterns of behavior in their attempts to get
attention, nurturance, and love.
Kids getting into trouble at school or at home all
have a reason,
and that reason does not originate with them. I may be going out onto a
limb I fall from, but the majority of the time, bad behavior is the
result of having experienced some type of major emotional trauma. Here
are some of the ways I see children forming patterns that can lead to
trouble in their future relationships and social obligations.
Spending the majority of the first five years of
life with someone
other than the biologic parents responsible for a child creates an
invisible but deep wound. This can happen through adoption, being
raised by grandparents, foster parents, or separated parents as a
result of divorce. The driving emotions are fear, anxiety, insecurity
and despair at the thought that there must be something wrong with them
that renders them unlovable.
Abuse, whether it is sexual, verbal, or physical
creates a
different, yet similar, response. Powerlessness and the accompanying
anger become the impetus for temper tantrums, fighting, whining, and
crying. Their behavior is simply an attempt at regaining some degree of
control in their life. As expert manipulators, they are only trying to
recover some safety in their world since their limits were blasted into
oblivion by the original abuse.
It doesn’t matter whether the abuse occurred only
one time or many
times over a span of years. Their boundaries were still violated. A
damaged fence only has to be plowed through once to render them useless.
Violence between adults, when witnessed or heard by
children, sends
tremendous fear into the hearts of the young, and helpless. They begin
to taste death. If their parents kill each other, how will they
survive? Much anxiety has roots in this common pitiful marital solution
to conflict.
Insensitive cruelty in words to children about
physical features
such as being overweight, wearing glasses, wearing hand-me-downs, or
being different, build barriers that shut children out. In response,
they either fight back in anger, or withdraw in social isolation.
Either way, they become labeled as “bad.”
Another reason children misbehave is because of the
unawareness and
immaturity of their parents. When immature, damaged parents raise
children, their own issues beg to be resolved. They are not capable of
effectively nurturing their children. Most parents do the best they
can. Unfortunately, many times, their best is not quite good enough.
Tell me. What is the truth? Who is most responsible
for a child’s misbehavior?
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Grandparents
raising children need to be applauded
My hat is off to the 2.3 million grandparents or
great-grandparents in the U.S. raising their offspring’s children.
After not even a week of having a one and two-year-old, I am struggling
to remember how I made it a generation ago, or more. Back then, there
weren’t individual sized juice and fruit servings, sippy cups, pampers
that wouldn’t leak, disposable wipe-cloths, or a Walmart to visit when
you ran out of everything.
Today, when I hadn’t had time to do anything to my
unruly, curly, dress, or put on any makeup, someone came to my door! I
decided to honor these special 40-80 year-olds doing the important job
of parenting children.
These great people are giving the gift of security
and love to children who may otherwise never have realized how
important and valuable they are. It’s a boggling challenge.
Little things frustrate like not being able to get
the clothes out of the drier to avoid wrinkles, scrubbing highchair
tops and grooves where all of the dried residual meal hides, stepping
on mushy cantaloupe that was dropped by accident, falling over little
cars with miniature drivers left in pathways, running out of milk late
at night, and having sweet potatoes spit out on the table.
There is no time for breaks, no time for
socializing, no time to read anything to the end. I imagine some
hair-thinning and graying may be attributed to these little
frustrations.
However, rewards are frequent. Smiles that light up
rooms, hugs that won’t let go, “tank-you’s,” and responding sweetly,
all give value to the efforts.
Long-term raising of children by grandparents is
never as satisfying to the child as being with their own nurturing
parents. Absent parents leave these children with absolute wounds
that never quite heal.
Children not raised by their birth parents always
feel they don’t really belong. Many fear that if their parent could
walk out on them, anyone else important could abandon them too.
Frequently children believe that the reason they are not with their
parents is their fault. Perhaps they interpret the situation as that
they are not lovable or good enough.
These beliefs although false, direct the choices of
these children as they mature and develop into adults.
Grandparents have many such wounds to deal with. As
friends, what can we do to help them as they journey yet again through
raising these precious children?
Support their efforts by offering encouragement and
help rather than criticism and undermining their authority.
Join them by visiting, offering to share part of the
load, or give them a break. Form a “Grandparents day out!”
We need them–let’s give them a hand!
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Teen sitter can
feel like a family slave
During
summertime, many teens feel like slaves as they care for their younger
siblings day after day. Of necessity, their parents are working to meet
the financial demands of a family. The problem is that as the teen
fills the role of a parent little time is allowed to establish their
own identity.
Struggles to gain respect of toddlers and school-age
brothers or sisters take the place of forming decisions about their
future. As a substitute parent, daily attempts to maintain some
semblance of order is a major burden for these young adults.
Allowances may or may not be given. But, nothing is
worth their loss of freedom, coupled with the weight of heavy
responsibility.
Saving the cost of daycare for one or two children
adds up to the cost of a house payment or grocery bill each month. How
can we let these young caretakers know that they are a vital part of
their family?
Usually, these youngsters feel totally worthless.
Therein lies the rub. Parents will have to communicate the value of
this wonderful service in tangible ways. These young
“stay-at-home-parents” must perceive their role as being extremely
valued.
It isn’t surprising that teens become rebellious and
disrespectful. No one seems to notice they simply want some recognition
and honor for their valuable service to the family.
Families depending on older children as caretakers
could do some of the following to help:
Support them in discipline attempts. Sit and visit
with them attempting to create innovative ways to deal with the common
problems with the younger children. If they are going to have adult
responsibilities, they deserve to have a share of adult wisdom and
respect.
Offer some special rewards. Perhaps they get a
special night out with their dad each week or a shopping trip alone
with mom. Childcare can be a draining job to anyone who is not the
mother. Most mothers even need a break once in awhile.
Let them hear your praise as you tell other friends
about what an important job they are fulfilling. You may even want to
comment that because of your teen, you are able to pay the mortgage
each month, or are able to have groceries each week with what you are
saving in childcare expense.
Rather than feeling like slaves trapped in a
hopeless situation, they may begin to realize the integral role they
are filling in your family. The imaginary shackles will fall. Their
service will become more willing and enthusiastic. The whole family
benefits, from the youngest, to the oldest.
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Sleeping arrangement
defines family structure
The
structure of a family unit is defined by who sleeps with whom and who
seems to be in control. Ideally, mom and dad share the responsibilities
of running the business of family equally as partners. Problems occur
any time the power shifts to any other combination of possibilities.
When kids sleep with one or both parents, each
parent places a different meaning on the tradition or habit. To one, it
means they can avoid intimacy while to the other one, it means that
they are undesirable or unlovable. These interpretations change the
power structure and dynamics in the family.
Those sleeping in the parental bed are the ones in
control of the family. The success of family boundaries, directions,
goals, and outcomes are negotiated by this combination of sleepers. The
child usually feels the strength of their control. Operation of a
family sits on the shoulders of one much to immature and
under-experienced to develop strategies for the success of a family.
Many times the excuse for sleeping with mom or dad
is that fear is too high for spending sleep time alone. Fear arises and
nurtures insecurity. So, sleeping with parents only perpetuates
anxiety. What does anxiety do? It drains and debilitates the family.
This powerful force depletes energy, resources, and potential enjoyment.
Mistakenly, parents may think they are communicating
love, but the greater meaning implies heavy responsibility to keep
everyone happy, to separate fighting parents, to prevent divorce, and
the list goes on.
Parents regain their positions by simply taking
charge as partners, agreeing on a strategy that will be
successful, and following through.
Some helpful tips include:
* Role play during the day using their toys or dolls
giving these items praise for staying in bed.
* Plan an incentive system with charts and rewards
for each step of progress.
* Have a structured routine or ritual for bedtime
that gives messages of love, security, and belonging.
* Avoid any auditory or visual stimulation.
* Put them back in bed firmly but kindly immediately
if they get up.
* Stay as calm and reassuring as possible. They don’t
need fear reinforced.
* Leave their door opened so they don’t feel isolated
and cut-off.
* Avoid giving in–that just means they are still in
charge.
* Consistency is the key to success.
Being in a family is much more fun when parents are
in charge. Children can be children and grow up having a real childhood
rather than feeling like they had to be the CEO of their family system.
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Teenagers
sometimes use violence to hide their hurts
Alternative schools relieve regular schools from
out-of-control student behaviors. Students who really enjoy learning
don’t have the high levels of distractions and disrespect.
I have had the privilege of meeting with
select students at A-school this year and I just met the first child
who admitted they did something that deserved the disgrace of A-school.
Previously the fault for their detention was laid at
the feet of some other student or a teacher who didn’t hear or see
things accurately.
At the core of the negative behaviors, it may look
like anger, but the roots grow out of hurt and fear. Tough kids are
usually struggling–hurt and insecure about their life.
Common in the history of each child is the
insecurity of knowing where one or both parents are and whether or not
they value the hurting child.
It’s like they are wondering, “if my parents don’t
care, no one else will either.”
Perhaps parents are in the picture, but drugs and
alcohol add the hurt of yelling, arguing, threatening, and violence to
the daily life outside of school.
More and more, grandparents are having to take over
the responsibility of raising and supporting their children’s children.
They are important and doing a valuable, wonderful
job. However, hurt resides in the hearts of the children who feel
discarded and not lovable or good enough to be with their parents. Or,
they believe they are less valuable than the drugs or friends that keep
their parents separated from them most of the time.
Another frequent hurt arises from the taunts and
disrespect of their own peers.
The degrading comments, which make fun of
already-hurting children, push them beyond their reserve.
Their volcano erupts, and the next thing they know,
they are sitting in small, divided desks unable to talk all day. Many
go home to even further consequences.
Most of these hurting children would never let you
know they are hurting. They have pride. Protective shells have been
erected. Seldom is this hurt shared with even best friends.
If you have the privilege of interacting with a
child in “trouble,” see them through the awareness they need to be
reassured they are valuable, worthy, touchable kids.
Listen to them. Spend time with them doing what they
enjoy. Try to put into words what you imagine they may be feeling or
thinking.
Those who care have the power to penetrate the shield of this hurting
child that just looks tough and violent. Joining, rather than
ostracizing, trasforms behavior.
Actions come from attitudes. When a person believes
they are worthless, they behave in worthless ways.
When they know they are important and loved, they
act valuable. Human behavior is predictable.
Give the children in your life the truth.
Parenting teens can be
successful
When families
with teens opt for professional help because of distressful behavior
patterns, attempts at correcting those problems have usually failed.
Typically, one member of the family seems to be the “culprit.” All are
beginning to feel a loss of control.
The truth is, each family member has some degree of
control over the rest of the family. Their withdrawal may induce guilt
in others in the family. One may have anger eruptions that keep the
rest on edge and anxious. Some use hurtful words in attempts at
control. Others criticize or put down.
In order to propel teens into adulthood, several
principles can clear the launch pad on schedule, rather than years
later. Rather than being surrounded by clouds of fear, anger, guilt, or
shame, teen years can be rewarding and enriching. Here are a few tips:
Give freedom to choose, allowing natural or logical
consequences to result from problematic or irresponsible choices made.
Their freedom to choose makes the consequence their option. As they
grow older, their choices involve escalating risks. Early consequences
cultivate the treasure of wisdom to avoid later problems.
Speak with respect and encouragement even when teens
frustrate you with their attitudes or behaviors. When they feel
respected, they will give respect. Youngsters blossom in the validation
from the most important people in their lives–parents. When they know
you care and support them, they are motivated to behave in positive
ways. They don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you
care.
Solicit their ideas with interest. They will dazzle
you with their creative solutions to everyday dilemmas. When teens are
valued, their behavior becomes valuable to society.
Give responsibility with consistency so adolescents
have something for which to be proud. It is hard to affirm or praise
someone who never does anything. Young people don’t want to do things
that aren’t recognized and encouraged. They are just like adults.
Adults enjoy feeling a reward when they exert energy and are productive.
Trust until trust is damaged. Then be honest about
the distrust. Specifically share what it will take to recover the
trust. Trust is not something to be taken lightly. It forms the core of
any intimate relationship.
Enjoy teens’ interpretation of the world. Talk with
them about the absurdities of life, the joys all around, the
challenges, the amazing wonders, the stressors, and their solutions.
Find intrigue in the way they think.
Be honest with what you need from your adolescent.
They really want to know they bring pride and joy to you. If they
don’t, they need to know that too. Extremely important are your time,
respect, and consideration, for the wonderful person they are inside.
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How questions are
asked often determines the results we seek
Out of control? Are your children
running their lives? Or are you? Parents sometimes seem afraid of the
disapproval or violent reaction of their own prodigy.
The purpose of childhood is to learn how to be a
responsible, self-controlled, productive, respectful adult.
Letting children rule is similar to electing a high
school graduate to be president of the United States.
Experience is limited, wisdom hasn’t had a chance to
build, strategic solutions may appear impulsive and inconsiderate.
So, I’m going to share some tips on taking charge of
your child in a respectful, but successful, way. These tips come from
John Rosemond and his book “New Parent Power.”
Instead of phrasing our requests as questions, let’s
just state what must happen.
Wrong - “How about picking up these toys so we can start getting ready
for bed?” Right - “It’s almost time for bed. You need to pick up your
toys and put them away.”
At other times, we tend to use vague, rather than
specific, descriptions. Wrong - “I want you to be good in the store.”
Right - “While we’re in the store, I want you to walk next to me and
ask permission before touching anything.”
This next suggestion works for a spouse, as well as
a child. Make only one or two requests, rather than a long list. Wrong
- “Today I want you to clean your room, take out the garbage, feed the
dog, pick up the toys and help me get these boxes into the basement.”
Right - “The first thing I want you to do is clean your room. When you
finish, let me know and I’ll tell you what comes next.”
Using “Let’s . . .” means you intend to help with a
chore. If you mean for them to do it on their own, simply say so. Wrong
- “Let’s set the table.” Right - “It’s time for you to set the table.”
Many times, parents think they have to explain their
reasoning and clutter the airways. Wrong - Mom’s cooked a great supper.
Let’s say goodbye to Sarah and go see Mom’s surprise.” Right - “You
need to say goodbye to Sally and come inside.”
Expressing instructions as wishes amounts to nothing
more than a complaint about your child. Wrong - “I wish you both would
get along better.” Right - “When you fight, you are telling me that you
want to go for timeouts. You both go to your timeout chairs for 10
minutes.
Boundaries help children feel secure. Limits protect
them from danger, hurt, and chaos.
Without parental protection, children assume the
have to run their world. Interpreted, they feel responsible for
protecting adults, make everything happen on time, preventing outside
assaults and providing direction.
Secure kids grow up with confidence, self control,
the ability to self-soothe, and the understanding of respect.
What greater gift than a secure future can parents
give to their children?
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Here are the facts
of an antidepressant scare
Does treating children for depression put them at a higher risk of
death than if they were not treated? If this were a perfect world, no
one would be depressed. But, it isn’t. Evil exists. Cruel acts, mean
words, poor choices, generational genetics and family patterns have
produced a plethora of alterations from flawless.
Depression is real. Children as well as adults plod
through the muddy, cold, wet blanket existence of a depressed
life. Wishing they didn’t have to get up every morning, being disgusted
when someone else is happy, feeling frustrated when only negative
thoughts persist in their mind, and failing to enjoy the small wonders
of life, death takes on a greater appeal than life.
Children with this plague don’t want to go to
school, and complain of stomach aches or headaches in order to avoid
the challenges of interacting with others. Often they feel the unstated
burden of taking care of parents that are depressed. Their parent’s
sadness causes children to believe they may soon be orphans. Death
seems like reality. The responsibility of preserving a parent’s life
becomes overwhelming.
Eliminating the option of antidepressants will only
intensify the problem. There have been 24 different studies including
more than 4,000 youths and none killed themselves when treated for
their depression. Anyone who begins a new medication should be
monitored for signs of a problem.
Unidentified bipolar, known in the past as
manic-depression, is known to surface when an antidepressant is begun.
Since there is no blood test or x-ray to determine psychiatric problems
yet, the treatment is based on symptoms. Depression is misery. When
treated, energy levels rise. But, those with bipolar, will be unable to
sleep, and begin to feel on top of the world. High risks may be
taken, and perhaps large sums of money will be spent. It is then that
bipolar is suspected rather than simple major depression. Bipolar
carries a 25% suicide risk.
Children with major depression are 12 times as
likely to commit suicide as non-depressed children. Of those with
depression, 15 out of 100 are at high-risk for suicide if untreated.
Seven of those actually will. In studies of children who killed
themselves, most were not on medication.
Prozac is the only drug that has been researched and
approved for children. The other antidepressants have been tested only
in adults. Doctors have always given adult medications to children in
proportionally smaller doses.
Therapy plus Prozac seems to work the best for
severe depression. It would be sad to withhold treatment from the 70%
that improve for the fear that one or two may decide life is not worth
living. As noted above, treating depression would actually save five of
the predicted seven lives. Prozac saves life.
If therapy remedies a child’s depression, that is
fine. But, the sadness of depression in a child robs them of their
childhood and makes their adulthood much less worth living.
Antidepressants save lives.
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Celebrate Christmas all year
long?
At Christmas time we think
it can’t be complete unless we give. The millions of gifts given are
simply symbols of love. Who doesn’t want to give or receive love? Why
wait until December to enjoy giving love?
Children seem to be the most excited at this time of
year. They crave the attention, the giving and receiving. Why not have
Christmas all year?
The most valuable gifts aren’t necessarily the most
expensive gifts. Our time and our attention are the most valuable gifts
we can give.
Many children are splitting their time between their
parents. A number feel the great void from an absent parent. Some never
see either parent because of the effects of alcohol and drugs.
How wonderful would it be if we could give some of
the following gifts to our children all year long?
*Commitment to never yell at them or their other
parent.
*Promising to quit using a substance that puts fear
in their hearts that we will die and leave them prematurely.
*Carving out a regular slice of time each week to do
something special that they enjoy.
*Setting a regular time to teach them the finer art
of cooking a few times a week. It seems some kids don’t know there is
anything else to eat but pizza, burgers, and fries!
*Plan a family outing once a month that can create
great memories to cherish and talk about in the future.
*Spread some of the love to another family that is
less fortunate by visiting and sharing clothes or toys.
*Design some crafts together that are useful for
someone in the nursing homes or hospitals once a month.
*Secretly do something kind for one person or family
each month.
*Listen to music that is different from the normal
in your house. Talk about what feelings you get when you hear it.
*Play games around the table once a week as a
tradition that the kids can look forward to.
*Eat meals together and plan the topics to discuss
that can be entertaining as well as educational.
These kinds of gifts come from the bottom of your
heart not from the bottom of your bank account. We don’t have to wait a
whole year to enjoy the fun of giving and receiving. It can be like
Christmas all year long.
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