* Love is an emotional need!

* Inside each of us is an emotional love tank

* We may be loved, but we may not FEEL loved.

* We don't feel loved because the important people in our life are not speaking our Love Language

1. Words of Affirmation (praising them for their qualities, what they do, or who they are; appreciating)

List your partner's positive traits

_____________________     ____________________     _________________4kteach@bellsouth.net___

2. Quality Time (Things done together--may be shared experience, conversation, activity)

List the last two great quality times

________________________________     ______________________________

What two quality times you would like to do in the next month?

_________________________________     _______________________________

3. Acts of Service (doing for and/or with the other, even if you don't enjoy the activity)

What could your partner do for or with you which would tell you that you are loved?

_________________________________     ________________________________

4. Gifts (reminders of your commitment to love)

List special gifts to you in last 3 years

________________     ________________     ________________

5. Touch (hugs, pats, holding, sexual intimacy)

* Each of us has a primary love language

* Almost never does a husband and wife have the SAME love language

* Usually we speak OUR love language

* We must LEARN to speak the love language of the other person

* We can tell what our love language is by:

What we COMPLAIN about (You never..., you always..., etc)

What HURTS us deeply

What we DO for those we love

What we know we CAN'T live WITHOUT

* I think my Love Language is: ________________________________________

* My spouse thinks my Love Language is: _______________________________

* I think my spouse's Love Language is: _______________________________

* My spouse thinks their Love Language is: ____________________________

* We can get our Love Language spoken to us by making REQUESTS

* Your spouse has the CHOICE to do what fills your tank.

* Love Languages are also spoken by our CHILDREN and FRIENDS

* Love tanks can have holes that leak love and cause them to feel less than full because of childhood abuse, neglect, or feelings of rejection.

* With full love tanks we can GROW in intimacy and really FEEL loved.

*Speaking the love language of the other person communicates that you choose to demonstrate your love to them.

* Ask your partner: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how full is your love tank?"

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

* If the response is less than 10, say "What can I do to help fill your tank?"

I feel __________________________________________________________

when you _____________________________________________________

I would like to request that ___________________________________

If you choose not to, __________________________________________

If you do, _____________________________________________________

EXAMPLES:

(I feel scared when you yell at me. I would like to ask that you speak to me in a calm, polite voice. If you choose not to, I will not be able to respond to your comments. If you do, I'll feel less scared and more like cooperating.)

(I feel rejected when you say you can't talk to me. I would like to ask that you read two pages from this book and talk to me about it tonight. If you choose not to, I can accept that, but if you do, I'll feel better about our relationship.)

ALWAYS:     1) EXPRESS AN EMOTION,
                       2) MAKE A REQUEST
                       3) SET A LIMIT
                       4) GIVE THEM THE CHOICE TO SAY THEY CAN'T DO WHAT YOU ASK.