The symptoms of a panic attack appear suddenly, without any apparent cause, and may even occur in the middle of the night while you are asleep. You may be suffering from this common disorder if you have had: racing or pounding heartbeat, chest pains, dizziness,lightheadedness, nausea, difficulty breathing, tingling or numbness in the hands, flushes or chills, dreamlike sensations or perceptualdistortions, terror--a sense that something unimaginably horrible is about to occur, and one is powerless to prevent it, fear of losing control and doing something embarrassing, or fear of dying.

A panic attack usually lasts for several minutes but is one of the most distressing conditions that a person can experience. Most who have one attack will have others. If you have had repeated attacks, or feel high anxiety about having an attack, you have a panic disorder.

What is panic disorder? Panic disorder is a serious health problem. Almost two in 100 adults have panic disorder at some time in their lives. The disorder is strikingly different from other types of anxiety in that panic attacks are so sudden, appear to be unprovoked, and are often disabling.
 

Panic disorder is real and potentially disabling. It can be controlled with specific treatments. Because of the disturbing symptoms that accompany panic disorder, it may be mistaken for heart disease or some other life-threatening medical illness. People frequently go to hospital emergency rooms when they are having a panic attack, and extensive medical tests may be performed to rule out these other conditions.

What should I do if I think I have panic disorder? You should talk to your family physician about treating you. He may refer you to a therapist, in addition to treating you with appropriate medications Where can I write for more information?
Anxiety Disorders Association of America
6000 Executive Blvd., Suite 200
Rockville, MD 20852

                             * headaches
                             * low energy
                             * irritable
                             * sad
                             * little enthusiasm
                             * physical pains
                             * worthless
                             * sleep a lot or very little
                             * eat a lot or hardly at all
                             * sexual desires diminished
                             * weight has gone up or down
                             * hard to make decisions
 

                  1. Take antidepressants
                  2. Get counseling
                  3. Join a group

    The pills for depression are not addictive. They sometimes do have a few minor side effects such as dry mouth. The pills  correct the brain's chemical imbalance just like insulin corrects  the body's imbalance in diabetes. Some people only need the      medication for 6 months to a year. Others need them for the rest  of their life.
     The counseling helps you learn new ways to deal with stress, conflict and resolution of past hurts. New patterns of relating to others in your world can help the depression.
     Joining a group, such as a support group, a church group, a  team, a work group gives you an opportunity to form new relationships to try your new patterns of relating. The people in the group also give you the support you need to make the pattern changes.
     What patterns? We'll talk about those next week. Be looking for  the column called "Damaging Relationships."
                                        FAMILY MATTERS  September 2, 1997

We can be surrounded by people and family, yet lonely.  We can be lonely because we really are all alone. Or we may have suffered major losses. In either case, few human beings are "connecting" with us. No one is really sharing any part of themselves with us. It seems no one cares about us as a human being. Family has become detached. People at work isolate themselves in one way or another. Our inner tanks of love are bone-dry. We feel that no one would notice if we disappeared off of the face of the earth. What can we do if we  are hesitant to tell people how lonely we feel and to ask them for what we need? 

Take a risk. One lady in town felt lonely after several major losses.  She started the Singles Club that meets every week! Check it out in the Calendar part of this paper. Take the  risk!
 

Many people are attending church each week hoping someone will notice their loneliness. They want to be included in conversations with meaning. They want you to give them a hug.  They'd like to be invited to do something with someone else. Take the risk!

Reach Out. I recently had some strangers knock on our door.  They came in and visited for a wonderful hour! They had known my husband in the army and hadn't seen him since.  Reach out! 

There are people who need us. We can visit them, call them, invite them to go somewhere with us, send a note. Reach out!

The overwhelming loneliness we experience can sometimes lead us to feel so badly that we attempt suicide. No one will notice, we think.  No one will care. If you have had suicidal thoughts or attempted suicide, next week's article will help others understand why that choice seems to be the best for us. In the meantime, try to take a risk, and reach out to others.
                                          FAMILY MATTERS  February 3, 1998

Suicide is almost impossible to predict. Most suicides are associated with depression, substance abuse, or a chronic physical or mental illness. For every person who has committed suicide, there have been 10 people that have attempted it. More men than women complete the suicide. 

The only proven way to prevent suicide is to treat the depression or other emotional disorders with medications or learning new ways to see the world and think. Otherwise, suicide seems to be the least painful choice for escape from pain. The suicidal person who has children that need them, or feels that someone in the world cares about them, many times makes the difference between life and death. 

If this describes the way you feel, please talk to your doctor or contact a counselor for appropriate medication and therapy. If you think your life is hopeless, and it is painful to live each day, I challenge you to try the ACT formula:
 

C: Choose to create what you want in life. Visualize yourself as useful, in touch with people who care about you, relaxed, happy. 

T: Take action to make your vision come true. Ask yourself "What can I do that would help me feel useful to someone?" "What one thing can I do to get in touch with one person?" "  What one thing can I do to reduce the stress in my life?"

Replace the negative thoughts with new ones by saying to yourself: "I accept that right now I feel emotional pain in my life." "I choose to create the experiences I envision." "I will take action to create what I want in life." 

No man is an island. No man stands alone. Even though, at times we feel alone, there is always someone who needs us. Find that person.  Call or write them today. Life can be precious.    
                                       FAMILY MATTERS  February 10, 1998

Depression can be present in children, adolescents, and elderly,  as well.  Men suffer from depression but many times won't admit it.  Somehow, admitting depression seems to be a sign of weakness.  I see that admitting depression is a sign of strength-- strength in knowing that we won't be helped until we admit we need it.

The following is a letter my husband and I received from a promising young man studying in a University.  Before he went away to school, we treated him for severe depression.  Some unavoidable events had occurred in his short life which upset the balance of  chemicals in his brain to bring about depression.  This letter describes how life was for him a year ago:

"I wondered why life was so miserable. Why didn't I have any fun like I used to?  Even around my friends nothing seemed to be like it used to be.  I swear, someone could have told me I had just won a million dollars, and I promise (not that I am proud of it), I would not have even smiled. I felt so useless, not needed.  If the world had been coming to an end, I would not have cared. Now that I look back,  I don't see how I went on like I did.   I lost my last two years of high school because of  the way  I felt.   I thought, or better,  I knew no girl or guy wanted to have anything to do with me.   Don't get me wrong.  I had friends. But as far as talking to somebody new,  forget it.  I had some strange ability to know that everyone disliked me before they even talked to me.  Neat, huh?"

"The goals that used to seem so far out of reach and impossible now seem like a walk in the park! It's amazing actually.  I never would have guessed that I could feel so good and have such confidence in myself. I thought life was over a year ago, before I got help."

If you know of a young person  who is withdrawn, sad, and feeling unaccepted in life, you could be an instrument in giving that young person a new lease on life.  If you have any question, talk to your family doctor and ask for evaluation for depression.

FAMILY MATTERS   March 17, 1998 

The consequences are failed relationships, depression, drug dependency,  secret-keeping and distorted views of healthy sex.

In an perfect world, no children would be victims of sexual abuse. 

But we don't live in an ideal world.  Little girls and boys are touched in wrong ways, fondled, forced to do sexual acts foreign to an innocent child.

Age of the child at the time of the trauma doesn't determine the severity of the response. 

At any age, the child feels betrayed, devalued, fearful, guilty,  and  abandoned.  The damage is not always visible.  But, sometimes the little girls become seductive. 

As teens the victims may become promiscuous.  But, that isn't always the case..

A support group can help  by addressing the common responses to abuse and providing an atmosphere that allows the victims to see the trauma for what it was, a violent act that was caused by no fault of their own. 

Only then can they discover the solutions to minimize the scars on their souls, develop new patterns of thinking and interacting,  and begin to experience the richness in relationships.

Preventing child sexual abuse is the goal in DeKalb county.  But, we can't ignore the many that have gone untreated through the years.

The United Methodist Church is sponsoring a support group that will meet weekly beginning Sunday,  April 19 at 5:00. 

The group will be limited to ten adult women.  Call 845-1141 if you are interested in joining this group and making a difference in the rest of your life.                                                                              April, 7, 1998 

The person with BPD will have mood changes, and be unpredictable in their thoughts and actions.  They may be demanding, throw tantrums, always have something wrong with them, be quick to be offended and easily depressed.  Many of them are involved in drug and alcohol abuse and are impulsive in their behaviors such as buying or hurting themselves.  They seem to love you one day and hate you the next.

BPD is not schizophrenia.  It is fairly accepted that the origins of BPD are rooted in the first two years of life when a child suffers from beatings and sexual abuse alternated with loving actions of their parents.  They grow to either be in a hate or love mode toward themselves and others.   These individuals feel that being left is about the worst thing in the world.  As a result, the relationships they have are unstable at times, and intense at others.  It's hard for them to hold a job for long.  They may feel terrible about  themselves and harm themselves or think about suicide.  Many times they feel empty

BPD is a plague for all involved.  It's hard  to diagnose.  The symptoms of the disorder can only be partially controlled in therapy combined with certain medications.  The symptoms rarely disappear.  In fact, most doctors become very frustrated trying to treat this disorder. 

What can you do if you know someone that fits this description?  Encourage them to get help for substance abuse, early childhood trauma, and depression while you accept the fact that they will always be unpredictable.  Encourage them to be productive by holding a job or having some routine responsibilities.  If you share life with a person who has BPD, you must also protect yourself by setting limits on how they treat you.  Life for and with them can be very frustrating and disappointing.  But their deepest need is to feel loved--just like the rest of the world.
                                                                 FAMILY MATTERS            May 26, 1998 

Living as a person with bipolar disorder is frightening.  Sometimes it is so difficult to deal with that suicide becomes the chosen solution to this constant plague.   Simply because the chemicals that govern thinking and feeling are out of balance, the person with bipolar may one day feel very depressed, needing more sleep, being irritable, feeling badly, eating differently, unable to do much of anything.  The next day they may stay up all day and night, be overactive, and a bundle of fun, disregarding any negative consequences of their behaviors.  Thoughts of the person with bipolar can become distorted causing them to feel suspicious of others.  Major changes occur in daily behaviors.  It becomes very difficult to be understood by friends and get along with others.  The overall result is feeling out of control for all involved.  The disorder determines behavior.

The disruptive cycles of bipolar disorder may occur as frequently as once or twice a month, or be as rare as once every several years.  The disruptions depend, in large part, on whether or not prescribed medications are being taken faithfully and are being monitored by someone specializing in the mental health area.

A former name for bipolar disorder is manic-depression.  Approximately one person in 100 is plagued with this disorder.  Ninety out of a hundred victims are women.  Since the thyroid gland may be involved, and medications are needed, a lifetime of being followed by a doctor is necessary.  The treatment may involve medications such as lithium, anti-seizure drugs (which  increase helpful brain chemicals that help stabilize their moods), antidepressants, and perhaps thyroid.

Illicit drug and/or alcohol use is common in people with bipolar disorder.  The emotional pain is so severe that relief is the goal, no matter how hazardous that relief might be.

If you live with or know well a person with this disorder, you may become frustrated at times because of the unpredictability of  behavior.  By setting limits on what you will allow them to do  during their extreme times can help them and you to maintain the relationship you have built.  Those limits need to be set lovingly, firmly, and with empathy for the frustration they feel trying to deal with life on a daily basis.   The whole family would greatly  benefit from therapy as they all learn how to deal with bipolar disorder

Loneliness is very common because making and keeping friends becomes difficult when the disorder is not understood and dealt with positively.  People with bipolar
need your encouragement to get help and to stay on their medications.  You can help make their life worth living.  There's no better reward than knowing you have brightened the future for another person.                             FAMILY MATTERS    7-14-98
 

If left untreated, OCD can rob us of  a peaceful life.  People with the disorder experience an extreme need to check on, hoard, organize, or think about things over and over.  These persistent urges are seen as intrusive.  It seems that something HAS to be done right or perfectly.  Basically, these unwanted obsessive thoughts provoke such distress that the only relief from the tension is gained by repeated rituals.

Dirt and germ obsessions.  As a result of this most common obsession, a person may wash their hands 30-60 times a day.  They may carry a disinfectant with them on trips to "sterilize" commodes before using. 

Orderliness.  Another common compulsion which results from the obsessive thought that the world MUST be orderly, is the need for shoes to be neatly lined up in a closet, or some books to be completely straight with progressive heights in a bookcase.

Intrusive thoughts.  The mind may be completely taken over, commonly during prayer or in church.  Vulgar or blasphemous words come from out of nowhere disturbing the concentration and peace of mind.

For instance, if your car hits a bump on one side of the road, it becomes absolutely necessary to find a bump for the other side of the car.  Or, if a little toe is broken, the opposite toe must be injured to bring about the same kind of bruising and swelling.

Control through counting.  Yet others are compelled to count things like the number of steps they take.  The counting gives a sense of control over an otherwise out-of-control world.

Repetitive actions.  Peace can be obtained by locking the door five or six times, like in "As good as it gets," or by putting on and taking off an item of clothing  numerous times.

Levels of irritation can mount if others don't cooperate with these needs for organization, cleanliness and balance.  Over time others begin to relate to people with OCD in isolating ways.  Many people with OCD don't venture far from home because it just isn't worth it.

There is help!  Next week's column will discuss several treatments available to minimize OCD.
                                          FAMILY MATTERS       October 29, 1998

THERAPY
 Extinguish the obsession.  Some therapists may recommend placing yourself in the setting where the compulsion is triggered.  The therapist or friend then prevents the performance of the usual rituals.  This usually takes 10 to 20 hours over a month or two.  Eventually the habits change and the obsessions are able to be eliminated.
 Choose what you think.  When an obsessive thought enters our mind, we have the choice to "hold that thought" or  replace it with another thought.  Some are taught to say out loud "Stop!" while snapping a rubber band on their wrist at the same time to interrupt the obsessive thought.
 

MEDICATIONS
 Therapy without medication is limited in effectiveness.  Medications have been shown to reduce the symptoms, on the average, by one third to one half.  This can make a significant difference in a person's quality of life.  Compulsive rituals can consume a great deal of time each day.
While all of the drugs that help in OCD are antidepressants, not all antidepressants are effective against this disorder.  Most therapists prefer a class of antidepressants known as SSRIs.  Prozac, Luvox, Zoloft and Paxil work well for 70 to 80% of persons with OCD.
If  medications are used alone without behavior therapy, a relapse occurs soon after discontinuing the medication.  The medication would be required for life.  But, there is hope for getting off the medication after a year or two if much work is done in therapy as outlined above. 
Life can become less complicated.  Please share this information with anyone you know.